They are no secrets; it is an illusion. The more we try to hide something, the more powerful it will appear in the family in the form of, for example, diseases, accidents, property losses, failing companies, failed projects, addictions.
Does this mean that we have no right to intimacy, our own stories without an audience?
We have.
On the other hand, there are laws in the field, including the right of, for example, belonging in the family, their members, each of us separately, belongs, has its place. When we try to exclude a person because in our opinion, they are wrong, bad, too weak, too embarrassing, it’s better not to see them, a kind of tension is created that will need to resolve.
I will give examples: unrecognized and unseen children from miscarriages and abortions, excluded pregnant women, lovers, ‘illegitimate’ children, mentally ill people, unpaid debts, unpaid alimony, cheating others.
What can we do to make our own ‘secrets’ resolve in our lifetime, freeing our descendants from ‘finishing’ them?
Seeing one’s influence in a given situation, taking responsibility for it, looking at what we don’t want to look at, recognizing what we deny the right to exist, accepting what it is like, making amends, feel suppressed emotions.
If you carry such a secret with a shame or a guilt and you need a support resolve it, I invite you for a consultation 💚
Photo Katarzyna Magrian
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I invite you to a systemic constellation consultation or a psychobiology consultation https://magdalenamagrian.com/en/contact/
I invite you to my original program ‘I am, Me the Change’ https://magdalenamagrian.com/en/contact/
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