Dissapointed of a parenthood?
ustawienia hellingerowskie, psychobiologia, totalna biologia gdansk


Recently, in the system cancellations, I had the opportunity to look at the topic of disappointment with a parenthood, motherhood. It was strong. Ancestral, with physical pain appearing in the ovaries.

The mind reacted quickly. There was self-punishment, guilt, remorse, then reassuring myself and the world that this person loved their children 'more than life', and that being a parent was the best thing that could have happened to her. The program is so powerful that having children is just cute to talk about, it makes my jaw tighten.

When I 'buried' in this, it became clear to me that it's not about children. We are not disappointed with them, on the contrary. Once we strip them of all the patches and expectations that we have for them, it turns out that they are as perfect as when we cuddled them for the first time after giving birth.

Children are mirrors of us parents. What disappoints us in children touches on our own disappointment in ourselves. Everything for which we criticize, demand, rush, get angry concerns our own, unloved 'imperfections'. And it goes on. What we don't like about ourselves are the parts of our own parents that we don't accept about them.

We are also disappointed with the role of the parent we have chosen and which we cannot cope with, which is ourselves again. Suddenly, we become doctors, nutritionists, trainers, teachers, stylists, psychologists, etc. in one full package. Not to mention professional work and being a cleaner, cook, laundress at the same time. These parenting roles have long been accepted as a livestock boon. Mother, no saint could do it… After all, this is a role for advanced artificial intelligence in an indestructible robot armor. And no wonder we feel disappointed and frustrated.

Interestingly, the role of a parent is not offered to us under duress by the screenwriter and director. We write the script ourselves, choose the role and shoot the film, camera 'start', full control. So much haste, nervousness, rushing, fear, forcing. The illusion of being in control of the whole film 'I will raise you differently', 'better', 'I will provide everything I didn't have'. I suggest that you turn spiritually to your own parents at such times. The power of life flows from there. Look at them and say to them within yourself, 'I understand now. I am a child of you. I'm just like you, no better. You gave what you could, a lot of it. There will be no more. I take it gratefully and will continue to do so in my own way, as best I can. Then you can turn inwardly to your children and say, 'I am your parent. I give what I can, I have no more. I am letting you go so that you can go out into the world in your own way.

Isn't it easier on the soul right now? Isn't parenting beautiful? 😊 I invite you for a consultation 😊

For the ambitious 😉 I suggest a further exercise on emotional commands given to children:

‘Clean up’ – YOU look where have you not cleaned up around you yet?

'Don't whine', 'don't whine' - YOU look what part of YOUR inner child is asking for attention?

‘Wear these pants’ – do YOU ​​dress for yourself?

‘What are you roaring?’ – what have YOU not cried yet?

'Listen to me' - when YOU don't listen to yourself?

‘Why don’t you call?’ – where YOU don’t pay attention?

‘You are to respect me’ – where YOU don’t respect yourself yet?


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